Making Strides Against Breast Cancer

I've loved helping others all my life. And because as a former(?) engineer, I value my time more than anything monetary, when I choose to help others or to make a difference (or both), I choose to do volunteer work. Even when I want to give gifts to friends, the most precious thing that I can give them would be my time (and conversely, I hate it when people choose the easier cheaper way, spending their money on me, instead of their time).

And now, as a born again sociologist, doing volunteer work would serve me not only personally, but also professionally. First time I did volunteering in my new career over my first days in the US, was serving at Cherry Street Mission. I was keen to know how charity works of this sort are done here and to make a comparison with what I'd experienced doing in my own country. I've written about my observations and reflections here.

And when I saw an ad in the University Hall for Making Strides Against Breast Cancer, I didn't hesitate to volunteer. For more info on what's it all about and the locations across the US, have a look at this page at the American Cancer Society. Here, it was not merely about loving volunteer work in general or making some observations as a sociologist in specific. This touched a nerve on a personal level: my mother is a breast cancer survivor. And she's had a tough experience: 3 major operations (the last one being a lumpectomy) and 2 rounds of hormone-therapy for a total period of 10 years in a row.

To be honest, I felt (and I still do feel) somehow guilty about coming to the US to continue my education, leaving her thousands of miles away. After all the hardships of cancer, it's very hard for her to miss her only son being stranded here on a single-entry visa for several years. The only comfort that I can give myself is that in the long run, when I complete my education and thrive in my new career as a sociologist, it would make her happy. As retired teachers, both my parents feel upbeat about anybody's academic progress (although both preferred me to remain loyal to electrical engineering). As a hardhearted engineer however, I believe enduring hardships in the short-term is worth the fruits you get in the long-run. I've followed such a maxim over my engineering years and thanks be to God, I've succeeded with almost all my mid-term and long-term objectives.

Having decided to volunteer, I trivially chose to serve in the survivor tent when I registered online. That way, I could not only have more interesting observations, but also through interaction with the likes of my mother, I could feel that I was serving her (and when I called her after the event finished and explained about my day and my feelings, she was clearly moved).

However, things did not go exactly the way I had dreamed. It appears that my engineering karma follows me like a curse even when I look for the most social positions. When I arrived at Levis Commons in Perrysburg (the venue for the event), although I was an early bird, all my preferred positions in the tent were already taken. I was given the job of collecting hope cards (where survivors would write their name) and passion cards (where survivors would write about their experience with breast cancer) and placing them on the Wall of Hope. As it was very windy out there, I had to post them on the board securely and yet in an organized legible way. Doesn't sound much like a sociological job? I don't feel that way either. Once an engineer, always an engineer. Here's how my job looked:


And doing such an engineering job deprived me (to a great degree) of the major purpose of choosing the survivor tent: interacting with the survivors. It appears that my engineering-natured job at Cherry Street Mission was more fruitful, sociologically speaking. Although, I still had some survivors watching my job (what I did on others when I was a supervising engineer) and at times commending what I did. Yet, there was something I didn't feel comfortable with: money.

I've crunched numbers all my life. But I don't enjoy dealing with prices or price calculations. Managing my personal budget is the only monetary job that I've succumbed to (and I have to brag I'm very good at that; nobody believed I could survive in the US with the meager stipend I get here as a Graduate Assistant). Over my engineering years, I did my best to stay away from financial aspects of the projects. I preferred to stick to the technical side of the job. Even when I served as a supervising engineer in that hydroelectric powerplant project, although I did anything that could help the project (even jobs that were not relevant to my line of duty) I never let my project manager engage me with statements (the money claimed by contractors in a project must be approved by supervising engineers). But here, to my discomfort, I had to mention about the donation for hope cards (which were rather fancy).

Please, this event is not just about breast cancer survivors; it's for survivors. It's understandable that other people have to donate money. It's a fundraiser after all. But why should survivors pay to put their name on a bulletin board? Actually, one of the survivors grumbled that she had already paid enough and chose to fill the passion card (which was free). And I felt so embarrassed. Anyway.

Speaking of donations and money, I strongly encourage you to bookmark the Breast Cancer Site and click at the top of the page on the pink "Click Here to Give - it's FREE" button everyday. This is a convenient way to donate money for free mammograms for women who can't afford it. Mammography was what led to early detection of cancer in my mother in both instances (the second time, the tumor was a malignant, rare, infiltrating type) and saved her from chemotherapy (which she probably wouldn't survive) or probably much worse consequences. Not all women afford mammograms on a regular basis and they may get to know about the tumors when it's too late.

And clicking on this button is a way of donating without actually paying money out of your pocket. In case you wonder how, be assured it's not a hoax (like eternally-circulating Emails claiming that merely by forwarding the email to all your firends, you help some fictitious dying kid somewhere). I research these things on Snopes (urban legend reference page). The Breast Cancer Site and websites like them are paid by advertising (not that I like or approve of all the ads in there). You can find more explanation on their website and also on Snopes page. The good thing is that unlike many similar pages, you can click the button several times a day.

And like any fundraiser, there was a lot going on beside the main event (which was walking). Other volunteers had a better chance to use their talents (isn't engineering a talent?) to serve or entertain people. Have a look at the schedule of activities. There was a lady who made stylized portraits (without collecting any donations). Near the end of the event, as I had nothing to do, I sat for her to have a portrait. And it was fun. Here's a photo of me accompanied by my job (as an engineer) and her job (as an artist):


Well, in her artwork, she not only trimmed my beard a bit (something I've stopped doing since landing in the US), but also put shining stars in my eyes. Probably that (and her spending much time and effort on me) had something to do with her finding out that my mother is a breast cancer survivor. Or maybe it was when she asked me whether I wanted to have the things on my t-shirt to be in my portrait. Of those things on my volunteer t-shirt, what I liked the most was the motto: Hope starts with me.

Commencement

OK. It appears that I'm at the end of this stage of my academic endeavor. Today, we had the commencement ceremony for Spring 2008 graduates (me included). Here, as in most universities, commencement is celebrated the day right after the last final exam. But does it make sense to celebrate graduation while almost no grades are reported to the Registrar’s Office? Just being on your last semester wouldn't automatically make you a graduating student. At least, that's what happened to me over my presumably last semester when I was an undergrad student.

I've written a 100+ page thesis for my bachelor's degree. And that with all the troubles I went through. I had a thesis advisor whom I had to dump with much difficulty and fighting (choosing a busy egomaniac PhD candidate in another university as your thesis advisor is not a very good idea). And although the original idea of the thesis was mine, they didn't let me finish the same thesis with my new advisor. I had to adopt a new idea in the same area (my former thesis advisor had tried to depict me in the faculty meeting as incapable of doing a thesis in Artificial Neural Networks and the stubborn guy that I am, I wanted to prove him wrong). I defended my thesis after a 1.5 year crusade and going through all sort of troubles with school administration. That’s another story.

Near the end of my thesis, my mother was diagnosed with cancer and the day right before her operation, one of my professors flunked me in the middle of semester just for not attending his class enough. His class is all about him photocopying everything from his lecture notes on the whiteboard and you're supposed to do the same from the whiteboard to your lecture notes. Just a two-stage photocopying session. Every semester. So, if you endure his class once, you'll go through exactly the same torture in every detail the next time. And I was going to graduate that semester. And I had talked to the professor long before (he had unfairly failed me in the same course over past semester) and had got his permission not to attend his class (he later denied having given me such a permission). The students had nicknamed him Dr Cow for his attitudes.

This combined with my mother’s cancer diagnosis and other problems (financial troubles included) devastated me so much that I failed almost all other courses that semester (even the Microcomputer Basics that anybody would bet at the beginning of semester that I would pass with 20, the maximum grade).

The good point was all the referee (equivalent of committee members here) evaluated my thesis as excellent, 20/20 (and later on, two of them wrote me strong letters of recommendation when I was about to apply to graduate school in 2005). To my disappointment, my former thesis advisor gave my original thesis topic to a poor student (who was desperate to graduate) and the result was dismal. It could have become a great thesis if done properly by a good advisor and a more capable student.

I would say my undergrad years were the worst years of my life (except for some periods brightened by some good professors and the time I spent with my good friends). But at least, I had the freedom to work and make money for my basic needs (we were struggling with financial hardship back then). Probably, my bad memories from college could be one of the reasons that made me hesitant about going back to college again. And over my last conversation with my former thesis advisor (that PhD candidate), he told me in a threatening way: “at some point, you may choose to come to the graduate school and you’ll know then”. Was he so sure that I would choose their university for my graduate study? Or did he believe that he was so almighty to make me troubles even if I ended up in another university? Anyway.

Although not mentioned in this previous post, the first time I felt like “And now, you’re a free man!” was when I graduated from college in 1998. Now, ten years after that graduation, I've almost finished my first stage of graduate study and am about to enter a new phase (PhD) which sounded like a distant dream to me when I was an undergrad student. Thanks be to God.

As the Savage Hall is undergoing construction and renovation, they’ve decided to have the university commencement in the Glass Bowl (our football stadium), rain or shine. Probably, many graduates from last semester are unhappy about their commencement being cancelled for a few inches of snow, although the Savage Hall was available then and a level 2 snow emergency was the reason, as mentioned in this previous post. As it was stormy today, they've even included instructions in the commencement program in case of a tornado. What a resolve!

And to shorten the event (and hence lowering the risk of getting wet in the open), they've decided to have separate convocation ceremonies for each college (with names being read and recognized, diploma cases given, pictures taken and stuff) and then have a condensed commencement for the university. Here is the memorandum for the College of Arts and Sciences convocation and here is more info on the university commencement.

Having attended the non-condensed commencement last spring, I didn’t find it specifically very exciting. Or maybe I’m not very excited about getting an MA in Sociology. Just between us, although I’m happy about finishing this degree as a stepping stone toward my PhD, I still value my Bachelor’s in Electrical Engineering more than a Master’s in Sociology. I hope none of my current professors read this! But seriuosly, I'm very grateful to my professors here. Their mentoring and support has been very helpful in my adaptation to a new academic discipline after being away from academia for such a long time.

Although I had brought my Ali lapel pin from Iran specifically for my commencement, I didn’t feel like spending money on Cap and Gown for an MA degree. And without academic regalia, you can’t walk in a commencement. Up until this morning I wasn’t even sure whether I would attend the ceremonies. Eventually, I decided to just take my Ali lapel pin with me and sit in the back and see how this college convocation was different from what I’d seen last year at the university commencement.

And while I was about to enter the Student Union auditorium along with other graduates of the College of Arts and Sciences, somebody from the Registrar’s Office approached me and told me that I had to have Cap and Gown. And I hadn’t (and presumably should've sat in the back). However, to my surprise, she proposed to get me one. And she did. I put on my Ali lapel pin and walked like other graduates. As the official pictures taken by the university photographers are not ready yet, I put one of my pictures taken in front of the Student Union after the convocation was over:

From left to right: me, Dr Barbara Chesney (Department of Sociology & Anthropology Chair), Dr Dwight Haase (Sociology) and Dr Willie McKether (Anthropology). The University Hall (where our department is located) could be seen in the background.

One of the several minute details about convocation and commencement is the tassel position. According to the University of Toledo protocols, graduate students should put it to the rear right side of their cap before the commencement and upon conferral of the degree at the commencement, put it to the rear left side. In other universities graduate students put it on the left even before the commencement, because they’ve already earned a degree (their Bachelor's degree). Furthermore, even according to our university’s version of the tradition, commencement is not technically the actual time that students graduate; rather it would be the time when all grades are reported to the Registrar’s Office.

Anyway, tassel to the right or left, as I didn’t feel like attending the university commencement in the open and wind (and probably get wet), I preferred to watch its webcast at the comfort of our department computer lab. And although there was not a tornado(!), it was rather windy and it did rain a little bit. And I called home to share the news with my parents. I ask God to help me with the next stages in my academic endeavor. My academic progress will make them happy and their happiness will make God even happier.