Sunday, August 17, 2008

Of exhaustion and exasperation

When I landed in Toledo as an international student and also as a Teaching Assistant, I had to endure two days of orientation; one day for international students (which felt kinda childish) and one day for Teaching Assistants. They were not very useful. And man, I hate anything mandatory, especially when it's inefficient. But still, that was nothing compared to the orientation I went through as an undergrad student. Here, we were confined to workshops (and other ways of wasting time) from morning till afternoon. We were free at night.

Back then, they took us to a three day camping (that we called boot-camp, because of all sort of regulations imposed on us). So, we were at the mercy of our orienters, day and night. And we were a bunch of unruly mischievous guys having jumped from high school into university after passing a nightmarish competitive entrance exam (one of the orienters, confessed to me later that we were the worst cohort they had over recent years). But despite all regulations and restrictions we still managed to have some fun. And out of those mundane workshops and orientation sessions, some friendships developed that last after 17 years.

But neither of those orientations in Tehran and in Toledo were as torturous as the ordeal I went through in Carbondale this August. Yeah, you got it right: another series of mandatory orientation workshops. But this time, it was week-long; Monday to Friday, from morning till afternoon. And except for a few of those workshops, they felt outstanding in their inefficiency.

We engineers are very obsessed about efficiency. That's one of the cornerstones of engineering (compared to pure sciences). If you do the best job over an unreasonable time, it's practically worthless. There might be some inherent value to the job (or your intention), but it's not worth the money and time spent to accomplish it. And time is money.

I'm well-known among my friends and former bosses alike for my perseverance and patience when I set my eye on something. In that sense, I was known by my teachers at school as an exemplar scientist, although I eventually ended up in engineering for trivial financial reasons. But even before landing in engineering, when it came to matters of practicality (although I had my times of pure-science-approach sometimes), I was overly obsessed and extremely impatient about inefficiency. And years of engineering made it even worse.

Over one of the workshops, somebody mentioned that people have different learning skills, some learn better by hearing and some others are better at reading. Well, people who attend these orientation workshops are graduate students. If they're incapable of comprehending written guidelines on such basic information about school and what to do there, something is wrong. How are they going to survive graduate school where they have to read tons of written stuff with much more complicated and sophisticated material therein?

And we had to endure this torture in an overly cooled lecture hall. Another clear example of inefficiency. People are nagging so much about gas prices and running around advocating for energy conservation. Is it so difficult to regulate the air conditioning of a building?

By Friday afternoon, I was so exasperated sitting in lecture halls and conference rooms, day after day, morning till afternoon, listening to things that I could have easily read over a few hours. I excused attending the department chair's welcome party, under the pretext of presence of alcohol (we Muslims cannot even sit on a table where alcohol is served) and escaped to Mother Nature. And I found the best way to counter this psychological exhaustion by way of physical exhaustion. I biked my way toward Giant City State Park which is some 6 miles to the south of Carbondale (the park runs about 4 miles further south).

Southern Illinois is hilly. Tehran (especially its northern neighborhoods) was hilly too. Tehran is located at the foothills of Alborz mountains and I was used to bike northward to go mountain climbing. But having spent my time in more or less flat roads of Northwest Ohio has spoiled me (I guess I'm spoiled by many things in Ohio). So, biking over those hills was quite a challenge to me. And there were other challenges as well.

Some people cannot understand the simple fact that dogs (however lovely and cute) are animals; they are not human being. Dogs, if not within the fenced perimeter of their owner's house, should be restrained at all times and barred from running loose in public roads. Failing to do so could result in accidents like what happened to my advisor here (who is a professional cyclist). Have a look at his blog to see what happened to him this March as a result of such negligence.

I had the same problem while hiking in the country roads of Northern Iran; dogs jumping out of nowhere and chasing you. Dogs generally find it fun running after anything (or anybody) moving. The faster you move, the more enticement for them to show you their physical strength and playfulness (and maybe territoriality).

And here, as I was on a bike, I provided excitement to 2 road-runner dogs. One of them sprinted from its owner's home which was more than 200 yards from the road. As it was one of those miniature puppies, I didn't take it seriously. I guess it was offended by my disregard and tailed my bike on the road for another 200 yards or so, barking at the top of its tiny lung all the way. Eventually, I had to slow down and bark back at my tiny fluffy escort. Assuming it had made its point to me (not to underestimate tiny creatures), it slowed down and backed off home.

When I returned to Carbondale at night, after going up and down those hills, I was quite exhausted and soar. But the next day, I still felt like having more exhaustion-therapy (treating one sort of exhaustion by another sort of exhaustion) to be able to sit my classes next week. This time, I went eastward for Crab Orchard Lake, another hilly area. I met a father and son (who had landed from East Coast in Southern Illinois) while they were working on their sailboat. They were so kind to walk all the way back to their car to give me a map of the lakes in that area. They also provided me with a lot of information about places to have fun in Southern Illinois area.

They also gave me some info about dangerous species in Southern Illinois. I shuddered to hear that we have rattlesnakes and other venomous snakes around and I should not feel free to put my feet carelessly anywhere I like. Those good old days of Northwest Ohio are over. There, the most dangerous species we had were mosquitoes (who were very persistent in their job).

Then, they informed me of moonlight canoing on the Campus Lake every month. Free for students. Yea. They also told me of the free sailing next week on Crab Orchard Lake.

As if my exhaustion-therapy was not enough, I ventured for this free canoing event. My East-coaster friend and his wife (who works at school) taught me some basics of canoing (it was my first time ever rowing on a boat). Then, they let me practice. In the beginning, it seemed fairly easy. But when I switched position and sat in the back, I found the job of navigating not to be so easy. This guy was very patient with my awkward failed efforts to direct the canoe in the right direction.

I guess engaging in these kind of activities would be the only way I can survive grad school in a small college town. Just if I can ever find time to get out of town when classes begin.

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