Sunday, March 23, 2008

Easter 2008

I wish I had remained faithful to my research plan of studying traditional worship at liberal churches; or at least, visited the churches that I already knew. I can say I ruined my Easter over unmerited curiosity about 2 churches that I really didn't feel like visiting instead of my favorite churches. Well, I leaned things the hard way.

The first church had put bulk mail in my mailbox (and that of other tenants of our apartment complex). I never feel positively about companies that advertise with unsolicited mail. However, there was something in their reddish postcard that aroused my curiosity: "Escape religion, come to Jesus". I assumed they must be one of those seeker churches without any specific ideology that try to lure undecided customers into their shop by any means (contemporary worship being one, among others). And bulk mailing from a church in Maumee to students in a cheap apartment complex, couple of miles north (that probably don't care much about being saved) sounded like an indication of their despair to that end. I was wrong.

When I entered their big campus, I realized my first mistake. These guys were not desperate for customers. The look of their campus and their welcome team indicated that they already had their affluent customer base. Proceeding further and reaching their building, I realized my second mistake (which was bigger); these people were not without ideology. There was an Israeli flag beside the American flag in front of the building. This was a Christian Zionist church.

Over my visits to synagogues, it didn't surprise me seeing Israeli flags in front of the building (or inside the synagogue, at the corner of the altar not far from the bimah). And that could be understandable for them. But what about these Christian Right people? They question the patriotism of Catholics and Muslims for being religiously allegiant to somewhere outside the US (Vatican and Mecca respectively). Aren't they willing to apply the same criteria to themselves?

I had second thoughts about entering the church. I had already read Christian Zionist literature and was familiar with their school of thought. I had also watched some of their programs on Christian TV channels. So, I knew how their worship would feel. However, seeing things in person would be different. Furthermore, I had come all the way down to Maumee in this cold morning. So, I trusted in God and ventured in.

The service was what you would typically see with televangelists or in megachurches. Some Rock music, a fiery sermon punctuated with amen and hallelujah and then more Rock music and some altar call at the end. Looking around, I could see the kind of faces that I had seen on Christian TV channels. You cannot realize how uncomfortable I was looking around; especially, with their Secret Service looking welcome team (I'm very uncomfortable about people in suits having their head shaved). I kinda felt myself in a hornet nest. When I had gone to a conservative synagogue last summer (with real Israeli people in there engaging me in debates), I felt much more comfortable than here.

At the beginning, they showed a video-clip juxtaposing scenes of nailing of Jesus (from the Passion of Christ) with things they regarded as evil (or probably worse). Examples: McCain or Obama declaring victories in primaries, Huckabee giving speech, several references to dictators like Saddam or Bin Laden (sic). They also didn't forget about the alleged threat of nuclear Iran. Fortunately, nobody asked me about my nationality (a question I'm asked in most churches and I receive a welcoming reaction when I answer).

When it came to their pastor to give his sermon (unlike most staff, he had not worn a tie), he made several references to dictators like Saddam or Bin Laden (sic). Last time I checked, I think Bin Laden was living in a cave, not ruling a country. But seriously, where were these people and their so-called Christian principles when the US govt supported/propped up dictators in Latin America, Middle East and elsewhere. It was not long time ago that CIA showered Bin Laden and his Mujahedin in Afghanistan with money and modern weapons. Did these Christian moralists raise their voice even to a whisper when Saddam was removed from the list of State Sponsors of Terrorism in 1982 to be deluged with generous gifts of arms and raw material and technology to build his arsenal of WMD? Where were their Christian principles when Saddam mass-murdered Kurds with chemicals he had received from the US companies?

I know. Lesser of two evils. It appears that by following that rationale, America continuously nurtures the bigger of two evils into a fully functional one. And then continues with the cycle of misconstrued judgment of who is the new lesser of two evils. And the cycle goes on and on. And there are always evils out there (real or fictitious).

At one point the pastor was not true to their ideological principles and spoke anti-semitic about a prominent Jew: Client 9. He talked about how Governor Spitzer sinned and ruined himself and his 20 years of planning (sic) to run for President, because he had everything but was empty inside. Although he didn't elaborate, it was clear what he meant by emptiness; anybody who does not believe in their Jesus, exactly the way they define belief and exactly the way they define Jesus is doomed. And that's not limited to non-Christians (especially Muslims); their damnation would include even Christians who don't buy their exclusive version of radical Jesus (sic). Their Jesus has infinite love, but his infinite love will reach only the ones approved by these people.

I left the church immediately after the service and didn't bother to stay for a building tour and their free organic coffee and their free cookies and muffins. This visit ruined my Easter morning already. The second half of my morning was not much better though.

For my second church visit, I proceeded to a corporate church. Unlike CedarCreek that somehow acts like a church (although with a strong blend of business), this one was a corporate and there was nothing in there to make me feel like attending a church. They'd caught my attention last year when their senior pastor had been arrested for driving under the influence. So, I could realize what kind of spirituality I would find in such a church. But still, I thought visiting the church once would be worth learning about these kind of churches.

When I entered the building, their second Easter service was over and people were already moving out. All the hallways of the corporate building were crowded with people and kids. People (a lot of them black) looked affluent and I could see a lot of security personnel in an around campus. And the welcome team members reminded me of valets at very upscale hotels or clubs. I already felt I was in the wrong place. But my sociological curiosities made me stay.

As I had about half an hour to pass till the beginning of the third service, I asked the visitor center for a guided tour (that is a common practice in corporate churches, even in the first church that I'd visited in the morning). But to these people, my request sounded odd. They passed me from one staff to another and eventually one of them told me why I wanted to visit their building and why I asked such and such questions. In my questions, I was simply and clearly making comparisons between here and CedarCreek. Please, is it a church or a high-security military compound?

This must have been enough indication that I was wasting my time in the wrong place. But I don't know why I even filled their visitor card (what I didn't do at the first church). And I was given a big mug filled with candies, plus a few CDs. I used the opportunity to make my backpack wide open to put the mug in it (and giving them a chance to see what's inside). However, I was beginning to feel growing suspicion about this bearded visitor. As I'd stubbornly decided to stay the course, I didn't make any complaint when I entered the auditorium and the welcome team members (movie-theater conductors) passed me from one to another and assigned me a seat in a place I didn't like.

The service began with some Rock music (kinda black style) and then proceeded to a drama about Jesus, his life and his crucifixion. And it was accompanied by Rock music. It was kinda post-modern drama. Then the sermon was given by an assistant pastor (I was curious to see the senior pastor; that was the main reason I'd come here). It was one of the emotional sermons you would hear in seeker churches. And people had to give their applause whenever deemed necessary.

Probably, I'm somehow biased by the suspicion-rich welcome before (and during) the service, but as the sermon went on and then was followed by the altar call, I kinda felt things were going superficial. I had difficulty feeling Jesus here. In some of my previous church visits, I had clearly felt his eminent and immanent presence. In those churches, I could easily connect with Jesus whose infinite pouring love engulfs anybody who loves him, regardless of the appearance (and BTW, Jesus' appearance was more like me, not the people in this church). But here, I was waiting for the service to finish to be able to go out and reconnect with Jesus. Maybe my Jesus (or the Jesus in other churches) is different than the Jesus they sell here.

When the service concluded and I rose to leave the auditorium, one of the plain-cloth security guys approached me and asked me if I was Muslim and trying to appear friendly, kindly warned me that there were concerns and suspicions about me. This came at no surprise; I had already felt some odd looks toward the end of the service.

And just think of a no-brainer like this, as an example of the questions I was asked by this security guy: (after discovering that I didn't have a car) how did you come all the way from X Street (my home address) here? I think there's a thing called "bus" and people who don't have a car can ride it and get where they want (although the bus system in Toledo is terrible).

But please, why should a security concern fill the visitor card, with all details of his contact info (including UT Email address), asking for information for his academic research? Once upon a time, there was something called common-sense. But with overarching post-911 mania, such antiquities have gone to a long recess. Although, I had decided to continue my campus visit after the service and probably have a talk with the pastors, I gave up.

Today, I made some observations and got some first-hand experience with corporate churches. But still, I regret ruining my Easter with these two churches. I could've visited my churches where I love people and I'm loved back. Or revisiting my newly discovered Episcopal churches to get a better understanding of their worship style. Alas. Sometimes you have to learn things the hard way.

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